Dream

Last night I had a dream. In this dream was a beautiful baby girl. I didn't know who she belonged to. All I know is that I wanted to take care of her. I can still see her face now, she was so precious. She had dark hair. I woke up with a painful longing for her. This has not left my mind all day. I keep seeing her face.

So, what does this mean? Is she my daughter? Is she reminding me that I promised to bring her to this earth? Because, well, as we all know I have plenty of kids as it is and we really aren't planning on having anymore. The question of whether or not we are planning on having more kids is usually met with a "Heck to the NO!!!". Sometimes a less convincing "no". I have felt before that there is someone missing, but shrug that aside remembering how many mouths we have to feed and telling myself that I have more than done my share of "multiplying and replenishing the earth."

Even entertaining the thought of having another child makes me nervous and makes my heart race. It is a lot of work having a baby..do I really want to do it again? The sleepless nights, the sore EVERYTHING from pregnancy and childbirth. Plus I am over 30 now...would that affect my pregnancy? I have five beautiful and healthy children...would I be tempting fate?

All of these thoughts are running through my mind, but are being pushed out by the face of a baby girl with brown hair. I told Ron about my dream and the longing it has left in my heart. He said, "Yeah some dreams can do that." Ha. He tried to change the subject real quick. I told him we need to pray about it. He reminded me our car will not fit another person and how we won't be getting a new car anytime soon. This is true....

So, where does this leave us? I am not entirely sure. I have faith that if I am supposed to have another child that we will be able to make it work car-wise, financially, and sanity-wise. So all I can say is "We'll see".

Stay tuned...